Finally I put my pen to paper, to express my thoughts on having a more ‘practical’ valentine’s day for ( hurting ) SINGLES out there
I know, I know there are so many blogs out on the internet for making Jesus your Valentine, but I already have Jesus as my Valentine. Of course, there are lots of SINGLES out there who already have Jesus as their Valentine and still looking for a Valentine.
WAIT … is that wrong? Having Jesus as your Valentine and still looking for one?
Let’s have a look at it scripturally and make sense of it
Our Heavenly Valentine
Jesus is our ‘heavenly’ Valentine. There is no love that can replace His love for us. His love for us is pure, selfless, unconditional and sacrificial that He came down to earth to save us from the clutches of evil on an eternal scale.
Whilst Jesus is our ‘heavenly’ Valentine, let’s get this straight we can’t get involved romantically with Jesus as Jesus is God. The way God wired us with feelings and desires in our hearts we are prone to look for our ‘earthly’ valentines.
One of the common thought / question for SINGLES, especially on Valentine’s Day is
‘Why am I feeling lonely (when the whole world is celebrating Valentine’s Day?)
Simple Answer, Because we are designed by God that way, with all glory of feelings, emotions and desires within us
It begins in Genesis. Why did God make Eve? Why did He not just stop with Adam? If it were not for God, I don’t think Adam would have ever realised that it was not good for him to be alone. It was actually God’s idea to design Eve for Adam.
In Genesis 2: 18 18-20 God said, “It’s not good for the Man to be alone; I’ll make him a helper, a companion “
God made human beings reflecting His image
In Gen 1:28 God spoke: “Let us make human beings in our image, make them reflecting our nature “
And He goes on to bless them
God blessed them:
“Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Earth! Take charge!
The above promise of God will only be fulfilled if there is a man and a woman to bring this fulfilment. Adam and Eve were God’s idea and they were made for God’s glory. God created a norm, a male and female.
“Woman was made for man” – 1 Cor 11:9, ultimately because the church is made for Christ (Rev 2:12)
So God introduced this idea of companionship, friendship to help us not to feel lonely. To help each other and build each other. Of course, God also has that romance part covered. He created this beautiful concept of sex, sealed under the covenant of marriage
Genesis 2: 24 “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh “
Heb 13:4 “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral “
Proverbs 5:18 So be happy with your wife and find your joy with the woman you married
That is why in a Christian SINGLE life, one night stands and random dates is not even a thing
This Valentine Day
As on the same SINGLE boat journey as many of you, I am on a slightly different level, a divorced single mom looking for my valentine. It has taken nearly 4 years of my life to reach this stage of search AGAIN in my life after a hurtful marriage and a horrific divorce. God is faithful and always good. He has held my head high all these years giving me the strength to just deal with things one step at a time. It was not an easy path but now I have mustered the courage to live my life again. My heavenly valentine Jesus has never failed me and I have no doubt that He will EVER. I do believe that there is a season for everything in our lives and what’s to fear when the Lord who created the Universe plans our lives.
I just want to send some words of encouragement that I believe that the Lord laid on my heart
- For SINGLE MOMS out there, the struggle is REAL. It’s one of those times of the year when you don’t want to step out of your home with your children to avoid the ‘Romance Crowd’ as you might feel left out. Take heart. A Valentine’s Day does not have to be dealt with only romantically. Have a super cute valentine date with your child. Teach your child Valentine ’s Day is all about love and becoz you love them you just want to express your love for them in a special way by spending time with them. It is super special and the memories are worth getting onto the child’s scrapbook for years of cherishing
Enjoy your SINGLE SEASON. It is a learning phase in your walk with God
God will work all things good for those who love and trust His name ( Rom 8:8 )
Beautiful Scripture for you to hold on to from Paul on 1 Cor 7
29-31 I do want to point out, friends, that time is of the essence. There is no time to waste, so don’t complicate your lives unnecessarily. Keep it simple—in marriage, grief, joy, whatever. Even in ordinary things—your daily routines of shopping, and so on. Deal as sparingly as possible with the things the world thrusts on you. This world as you see it is on its way out.
32-35 I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you’re unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I’m trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions.
- If you are SINGLE and are praying for your life partner or looking for a valentine, trust God but also be on the lookout and guard yourself from sexual lustful desires until your marriage
I love the way Mark Gungor expresses ‘ Sexual Equilibrium ‘ in his book ‘ Laugh your way to a better marriage ‘
“Very few relationships find themselves equally matched when it comes to sexual desire. This is one of the supporting arguments for those who believe couples should have sex before they are married. They believe sex before marriage helps a couple determine if they are compatible sexually. But premarital sex is rarely an accurate indicator of sexual desire. Early in a relationship, whether a couple is living together or in the honey moon period in marriage, many forces are at work that influence people’s true sexual desire ‘ A chemical deception is at play during premarital and early marriage sexual relationships “
- If you are MARRIED and already got a valentine, the below verses serve as a Biblical guideline to help you to strengthen your love and commitment towards your partner
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Perfect Love 8 Love never stops loving
I draw my verdict from Paul in 1 Cor 7-10
“God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.
8-9 I do, though, tell the unmarried and widows that singleness might well be the best thing for them, as it has been for me. But if they can’t manage their desires and emotions, they should by all means go ahead and get married. The difficulties of marriage are preferable by far to a sexually tortured life as a single.
10-11 And if you are married, stay married. This is the Master’s command, not mine.
17 And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life.
Happy Valentine’s Day Everyone !
Spread some light and shine His light through your love for others this season 🙂